how to add more language features to my narrative
FOUND
Garnet, with her long, untidy plaits, bounced out of her bed because it was going to be the best day for her!
She ran to her mom and excitingly said “mom, it’s my allowance day, I’m so excited because I’m going to go shopping to get something I’ve always wanted. JORDAN SHOES!!!” “But dear, your allowance isn’t that much for you to buy Jordans. So how are you going to buy it?” Garnets mom wondered. “I’ve been saving up mom”, Garnet exclaimed.” Ok honey, here’s your $150 allowance. Spend it wisely,” Garnet’s mom advised. “Thanks, mom, I’m going to go get ready’’. After she was done, her hair was a flowing golden river streaming down her shoulders, and her dress swayed like the ocean’s waves.
“What’s that delicious smell mom?” Garnet asked. “It’s just lacinia dear. I cooked it for you but you’re going” her mom replied. “Sorry momma, maybe next time,’’ Garnet said. “Anyways, bye mom “. “Bye dear, have a nice time”, Garnet’s mom cried out.
Garnet was overjoyed because she had gotten to the location of the Jordan shoes. Garnet entered the store and, thankfully, she had enough money to buy the Jordans she liked. “My happiness is fluid in a container”, Garnet gleed happily.
While Garnet was walking back home, she felt a presence stalking her in a small, grey car. Garnet was on a street with few people scattering around. She got goosebumps while contemplating that the car might be after her. And it was. Suddenly, the car sped past and stopped right in front of her. A hideous, looking man with green eyes, came out of the car and ran straight to Garnet. She was so frightened that she felt glued to her spot and couldn’t move. He revealed a tissue from his pocket that he probably kept it there for a while and covered Garnet’s airways. The world went dark.
Garnet felt a sharp pain in her wrists as she whispered to herself in an empty small room.
Where am I? “Is anybody here! Garnet yelled. Suddenly, came a cringy voice “there’s no point in yelling. Nobody will hear you.” “Who are you, where am I!!!” “Let me go please, my mother must be wondering for me,” cried out Garnet. “She might be,’’ said the man while walking up the stairs. Garnet was carefully scanning around her to find something that could help her escape from all the stinky blood smell and the creepy small room as if it’s a dungeon. Just then, she saw a metal knife that was glinting from the low light bulb. Quickly she opened herself with knife. Suddenly, the killer came in with a knife in his hand.” I’ve had enough of you now”, the killer growled. “You’re useless. “Don’t’ you want to stay alive, then beg.” He then put the up knife on Garnet’s throat to give her a nice slash in her neck, when Garnet quickly got her knife from her back and stabbed the man. Garnet stabbed him again and again while crying. Then she ran out of the place when she luckily saw two policemen.
“Your name is Garnet, right?”, one of the policemen asked. “Yes”, Garnet replied. “Your mother is in the car. We came here to look for you. We searched everywhere and now you’re here, it’s magical.” The policemen cheered. Garnet ran to her mom. Her mother was so shocked to see her bloody. “Oh dear, are you hurt?” Garnet’s mom cried. The policemen went and got the man’s body, and Garnet with her mom went home, after all, the rivers screams.
