Adam was a self-referred client to the community-counseling center. He was 32 years old and attending the local University. He lived alone and worked in an isolated computer department at his school. He had recently been broken up with and sought counseling to deal with his feelings of persistent depression.
He reported that he had always had relationship problems and that all of his romantic relationships had ended in major conflict. He specifically mentioned that it was most often times due to his partner’s faults. He exhibited a pattern of intense obsession, on his part, followed by rejection from his partner. Additionally, he reported that romantic relationships triggered feelings of “vulnerability” and led him to question his “safety”. He also carried the belief that being romantic or “in love” meant that he must give up his autonomy and needs. He exhibited blurred boundaries and a sense of not being allowed to complain. This led him to take on too much and agree to things that he did not want to do. This pattern would repeat until Adam became very angry and lost his temper.
During his intake session, he was very accommodating to the therapist and seemed eager to please. He did not assert his needs and denied any sense of discomfort. He appeared polite, respectful, and engaging. He was also quite talkative and would answer all questions with lengthy responses. It also seemed as if he was following the therapist’s lead and even seeking direction throughout most of the session.
What interpersonal coping style is Adam displaying? How do you think you might respond to Adam’s initial presentation? What would be comfortable about interacting with him? What would be challenging about interacting with him?
In what ways might you recapitulate his developmental experience and elicit his anger? How would you respond if this should occur? How comfortable would you feel naming the dynamics and taking ownership of your contribution to the repetition of his old familiar unwanted interpersonal patterns?
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